my love's a revolver
by Seph Meadowes
Summary: AKA The Month of Koroline. 31 days, 31 fics all about the impossible ships that is Kol/Caroline. Take a gander?
1. i knew you were trouble

**The Month of Koroline #1**

**Title: I Knew You Were Trouble**

**Fandom/s: Vampire Diaries, Glee**

**I know, I know, it's late but I have been sick lately and then yesterday I went to stupid family thing and apparently being around my cold and uncaring relatives really affect my psyche. So here it is, I'm posting another one after this today to make up for lost time. Hope you like it.**

* * *

This is a bad idea.

Caroline said just that the moment Kitty Wilde got the bright idea to 'spy' on their biggest competition. Never mind the fact that it has been three years now since Vocal Adrenaline has won a National title. Ever since Jesse St. James graduated it has all gone to hell and no star performer has been able to bring the success that the former champion show choir used to get in abundance.

Caroline had been back in boring Mystic Falls when the New Directions had won their first National title, the year later won their second one which was the year her cousin Ryder joined Glee despite the strain it would bring on his grades.

She and Ryder have always been close and he was the first to greet her the moment her plane landed in Ohio. Her aunt and uncle were kind enough to offer her their spare room since both her parents decided she needed some time away from Mystic Falls after her behavior had been less than favorable the past year so they boarded her unto a plan and there she is.

Her relatives were warm and welcoming and Ryder showed her the 'ropes' of McKinley High, giving her the 401 on the cool crowd (which in his eyes were the nice people in Glee club). The same dynamics are still there from her old school, the jocks and the cheerleaders were at the top and the Glee club was at the very bottom, underground. But Ryder didn't mind that, he felt he belonged with the so-called 'loses' of the school and he wanted her to join so she could find her niche as well.

Ryder's girlfriend, Kitty Wilde, probably the meanest girl Caroline's ever met (and she's met a lot of mean girls), was Cheerios captain and had prompted her to join the squad after founding out about Caroline's cheerleading past but Caroline just politely declined and signed up for Glee as Ryder wanted. Kitty had been confused at the rejection but let it go after Ryder coaxed her to let her psycho take a vacation for a moment. Ryder is good for her like that and Caroline doesn't find their pairing that weird anymore after seeing the way they looked at each other.

"Kitty, I think this is a bad idea." Ryder tried to reason with his girlfriend as they took their seats into the orchestra section of the auditorium, giving them full view of the practicing Vocal Adrenaline who were currently being told off by Jesse St. James for giving a less than satisfactory performance.

"Ssh, Ry, we're at recon here." Kitty hissed back at her boyfriend reproaching and he just rolled his eyes and kissed her on the cheek real quick enough before she got angry at his 'cheesiness'. Kitty didn't smack him like she usually did and even accepted his hand when he reached to entwine theirs together.

From Caroline's left, Unique is scowling at the sight below them, having bad déjà vu of his time with the show choir. "Oh God, Unique does not miss this."

Marley just comforted her friend with a pat on the arm, her boyfriend Jake at her side and trying to look cool as always.

Caroline has spent a mere month in Glee and already she was getting used to the dynamics of the club. She hasn't a chance to meet the original members of the club or even the seniors from last year but Ryder calls them 'cool' especially Sam and his baby fish mouth lips.

Jesse is still shouting below and all the members are frowning in discontent now, one of the girls faint right on stage and two other girls just carry her off stage, the rest of them don't even blink like this was a regular occurrence.

Caroline frowns at this and leans down closer to take a better look of the members. Most of the members were long-time ones which she knew from the pictures on their website (Kitty is very thorough in her snooping if nothing else), right in front is the current star performer, Kol Mikaelson. He's in a year above her, a senior and after transferring from England, he claimed the center stage like he's born for it.

And maybe he is, after all his grandparents had been Broadway stars in their day, his mother a famous Hollywood actress and his father one of the most lucrative producers out there. His siblings are all successful in their chosen fields as well, despite not being in the arts. His brothers were surgeons, lawyers and businessman. His younger sister is poised to join Julliard after graduation.

Of course, Kol Mikaelson would be the star of one of the best show choirs in the country. And if what she hears is true, Vocal Adrenaline is bound for a comeback.

Jesse is about finish with his rant, face turning back to its normal pale instead of the puce it was a moment ago. "And what do you have to say for yourselves?"

Kol is the only one of the members who looks unaffected by their coach's verbal abuse and even with his hair slightly messed and his skin shiny with perspiration, he still manages to look perfect and composed. He just looks up at where they are seated, eyes directly on her and says, "We've got some spies."

A futile escape attempt later, the six members of New Directions are seated front row of the stage, the big and no doubt strong male members of Vocal Adrenaline at either side of them to block any escape. Jesse St. James peers down at them with cold blue eyes, trying to make them squirm but it only works on Marley who clutches at Jake's arm like a lifeline. The rest of them are glaring up at former Nationals champion, refusing to be intimidated.

"I'm surprised you guys are back to spying on us." Jesse said. "Don't you guys ever learn that it never works?"

"You mean just like that haircut makes you look like a really butch lesbian?" Kitty snaps back.

Ryder doesn't dissuade his girlfriend though and tries to hide a smile as Jesse glares at the Head Cheerio. "You're the new Quinn, I hear?"

"As much as I adore dear Quinn Fabray. _Wrong_. I'm Kitty Wilde, the original and don't you forget it, Rosie O'Donnell."

Jesse smirks for a moment. "Mouthy but it's not gonna help you now, you do know that?"

Unique cuts in. "Please what is the worst you can do, Jesse? Kill us? I'm sure that qualifies as instant disqualification in every show choir rule book."

"Not to mention, a one way trip to prison." Ryder continued.

"And hell, don't forget that." Kitty chimed.

Jesse rolls his eyes before making a gesture and the male members around them disperse. Kitty gets up first, leading them like the Queen Bee that she is and guiding them past the unhappy members of their rivals. Caroline keeps her gaze straight as she walks past Kol Mikaelson who is right in her way. Her shoulder bumps his lightly and something is pressed into her palm and before she can turn her head and look at him, Kol is already rushing towards the stage to continue practice.

His eyes don't meet hers as Jesse starts directing them to their routine again and she looks down at the small paper in her hands, a phone number written down on it.


	2. born to die

**The Month of Koroline #2**

**Title: Born to Die**

**Fandom/s: Vampire Diaries**

**Two down, two to go.**

* * *

It can't be.

Caroline hears the rumors, the whispers of town folk and the warnings of her parents. Kol's family is no longer human, cursed. Monsters to the very literal sense with their thirst for blood and penchant for death and destruction wherever they go. The witches in their village warn them against letting any member of the damned family inside because once they get in they would be free to wreak havoc as they please.

Inside these walls of their home they are safe. The monsters can't touch them here and Caroline spends many nights curled up under her scratchy blankets, trying to resist opening the window to see the moon because it is too dangerous. They all live in fear now. It is no longer about men who change into wolves.

There is another monster now to haunt their nightmares. And Caroline has more and more of those each day she stays cooped inside their house, her parents forbidding her to step foot outside as the monsters have learned to protect themselves from the sun. Each night she lies trying to find peace when there will be screams echoing into her ears, whether they are real or not ceases to matter anymore.

And then come the dawn where she will take a peek through a small crack between the wooden shutters to glimpse the rosy sky, her last silver lining in this dark existence that has become her life.

She hears his voice before he appears. "Caroline."

She stutters a gasp as Kol appears in front of her window, his face barely visible through the cracks of wood. She tries to crawl backwards away but he's fast, like a blur, ripping the shutters of the window and she's enveloped in the first rays of sunlight, blinding her temporarily before her sight adjusts.

"Much better," Kol smiles at her. It's one she's never seen before. Almost malicious and he leans down as close as he can to the window, that small invisible barrier preventing him from truly being able to touch her. "I missed you, sweetheart."

"Go away." She is afraid but she manages to utter it out, hugging her knees to her chest to make herself smaller. "Leave me alone."

"But I don't want to." He cocks his head to the side coyly. "Don't you miss me, sweetling?"

"No." She trembles but keeps her voice even. "I could never miss a monster."

"I'm not anymore a monster than you are, sweet." He grins. "I'm better now, you see. I've been introduced to a world of strength and power and fearlessness where I will never have to cower to anyone again." His dark eyes are wide, manic. "I am better. And I can do the same for you. All you have to do is let me in."

She is hyperventilating now, pure fear rushing through her bloodstream. What…what has become of the boy she loved? That sweet boy who danced with her under the sun and gave her sweet wine to drink? Who waxed poetic about how he wanted to spend the rest of their lives together and he would take care of her so well she'd never be unhappy? What happened to him?

Is he gone just because of magic, wine and a blood of an indecisive girl? Is that all it takes to lose one's humanity? Pride, fear and anger. Vengeance being the drive to destroy them all.

"No," She shakes her head resolutely. "Go away."

He scowls then, his pretty face distorted by anger. "What happened to forever, Caroline? Didn't you promise to give me the rest of your life, to spend it with me?"

'Not like this."

"Why not like this? When it's better? When forever can really be forever? Where you never have to worry about illness, childbirth and age again? Where everything is perfect?"

"It's not perfect, Kol." She sobs. "It's not what I want."

He lets out a noise between a whine and a growl of pure frustration. "What is it that scares you? That _disgusts_ you about this? Are you intimidated by the power you can have? The invincibility you may possess? What is it?"

"The death, the bloodshed, the inhumanity of it all," She answers. "_That_ is what I fear."

He looks away for a second, shoulders stiff with tension before he looks back at her dark eyes, glinting with cruel promise. "You will change your mind, Caroline. You have to."

_Or what?_ She's afraid to ask.

"I'll come back later." He says. "Maybe then you'll be more accommodating and let me in."

He disappears like a flash of light and she lies back down on her bed, her sobs lulling her to sleep.

Her father disappears the next day.

The next day, her mother.

After that, she just waits in the dark of the night. The moon bright in the dark, dark sky, singing it's quiet foreboding song, both comforting and hypnotic at the same time.

Her tears start to fall as his voice echoes into the night. "Let me in."


	3. angel of mercy

**The Month of Koroline #3**

**Title: Angel of Mercy**

**Fandom/s: Vampire Diaries, Supernatural**

**I don't even know if this is good or not. I tried, okay?**

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This is not Caroline's day.

Scratch that, it's not her freaking week.

Her boyfriend has been acting weird lately and so is her friends are giving her a wide berth like she's done something sacrilegious. And none of them can even stay still long enough in her presence for her to ask and get a proper explanation. All of a sudden, she went from being the most popular girl in school to being a pariah without any warning whatsoever. It's doing a real number on her with the complete 180 her life has turned.

Home's not any better. She's been fighting with her Mom a lot lately, mostly about her….her dad who hasn't called in quite a while. Scratch that a few _years_, the last being the football she went with him and Adam, her older brother Adam who doesn't care much for their mostly absentee dad or tries not to care because it's better to be indifferent than to show that he's hurting inside. But at least, he's being productive by channeling all that hurt, anger and resentment into school and work as shown that he got accepted into M.I.T and is about to start in a week.

Caroline on the other hand….

Well, once upon a time she tried to do the same. Being constantly on honor roll, cheerleading, dating Quarterbacks and organizing school charities but nowadays after everyone decided to turn on her, she thought _fuck it_. Cause seriously, Adam doesn't seem to notice what's going on with her and her Mom thinks she's being a brat so _fuck it all._

She's not going to waste her time trying to please some man who isn't there for most of her life and a Mom who thinks she's the worst daughter in the world because she forgets to get the milk from the grocery store after a full day of_ exhausting_ school activities and a brother who pretends not to notice anything wrong.

_Fuck it_, she says.

Her weekends are probably worse part of the week. When before it was a reprieve from all her committees and she spent Saturdays hanging out with the cheerleaders at the mall and her Sundays with her current boyfriend but ever since everyone's decided that she's the anti-Christ, she spent her weekends alone now. Mostly sneaking in the school to take a swim in the pool after the swim team was done.

It's quiet being underwater and she stays under there, all sound muffled, the rest of the world a blur away before her lungs really are screaming for oxygen and she swims up to the surface to take it in air. She does this for a few hours until she's all wrinkly and she thinks she'll never be dry again and then she gets out and grabs the towel by the stands.

Her things are sprawled near it and she picks up her phone when she sees it vibrating. The call ends before she can answer it though and she blinks as she checks the call log. Fifteen missed calls from Adam, twenty from her Mom. She frowns and throws her phone into her bag.

They probably just need her to pick up groceries again. She ignores her phone after that, getting dressed and walking out of the deserted school. It's already dark and she wraps her jacket tighter around herself as she walks home. Her house is only a block away from the school which is an advantage every time she wakes up late since her crappy alarm clock has the habit of not working from time to time.

The streets are empty as if it's a ghost town and she wonders where everyone is. Usually at this time, the kids are still playing at their lawns, dinner time still an hour away. Other teens would be walking towards town to hang out at the mall or a coffee shop, anything to break the monotony. And yet tonight, it is quiet like the world has decided to keep everyone in their safe homes, something sinister is about to occur.

Caroline shakes her head at her ridiculous thoughts. She has obviously watched way too many horror movies and it's making her paranoid. Adam always said that horror movies are bad for you. They melt your brain, he says.

She's three houses away from her house when that sense of foreboding returns in full force and she walks slower towards the front lawn, trying to gauge any danger. The lights are closed which isn't anything strange since their Mom works at this time and Adam spends his weekends studying late into the library (it's mostly to stare at Kirstin McGee, the girl of his dreams, but don't let him know she told you that).

Caroline tries to shake off her paranoia, calling herself silly for thinking there is anything wrong. Walking more surely than before, she strides up to the front door and slides in her key, the doorknob giving away with ease. It's already unlocked. Huh.

Okay, that's not weird at all. Maybe Adam's home early or her Mom's took a different shift for today. Nothing could be wrong. Nothing.

She fumbles for the light switch and is relieved when light fills the room. She drops her bag on the sofa and sits down beside it, trying to calm herself and giggling at her stupidity. See, nothing was wrong! She was just being crazy.

"Hey sis,"

She jumps almost a foot in the air and she turns around to see Adam standing at the kitchen doorway, smiling at her brightly. She lets out a relieved breath and glares at her brother, throwing the nearest thing at him, the remote and shrieks. "You scared the shit out of me!"

He shrugs and grins wider. "Sorry." He steps into the living room and continues smiling. "Where have you been?"

"School," She answers. "Did you spend some time starting at Kirstin again?"

He frowns for a minute, confused before smiling again. There is something different about his smile today, she just couldn't make out what it is. "Yeah, I did. So, did you hear from Dad lately?"

"No," She looks at him weirdly. "He hasn't called in years, remember?"

His expression turns angry and he starts charging towards her. She steps back until her back is pressed against the wall and he has her cornered. His first collides on the wall beside her head, just mere inches from her face. "Where is he?" He shouts.

"I-I don't…"

Okay, now something is definitely wrong. Adam gets angry at her times, sure all big brothers tend to and she's one of the most annoying little sisters out there but he'd never been downright aggressive and violent. This couldn't be Adam from that fake smile alone she knows it isn't him. And something_ is_ wrong. She should've listened to her instincts.

She ducks underneath his arm and runs towards the kitchen towards the back door but her Mom is there – no, not her Mom – smiling cruelly at her and blocking her escape. "Does she know anything about Winchester, honey?" Not-Mom asks not-Adam who is coming in behind her.

"She knows nothing."

"Guess we have to eat her too, then."

What?

"E-Eat me?" She stutters out, shaking in fear now.

Oh God, Oh God, is this how she's gonna die? Eaten by a bunch of look-alikes of her family? Oh God, you cannot be that sick and cruel! Somebody please help her!

Not-Adam grabs her from behind and she elbows him in the gut so hard he groans and lets her go, she ducks past not-Mom and grabs one of the kitchen knives at the sink, underneath all the bubbly water. "Don't come near me!"

"This one's a fighter." Not-Mom hisses, glaring at her, advancing as not-Adam recovers and lunges for her again.

"Oh, I love it when they keep trying even when it's futile." Not-Adam says as she spins around him, trying to reach the back door but not-Mom wrestles her to the ground until she's underneath her. Her face so much like her Mom's sneers down at her, keeping her hands pinned down. "It's okay, Caroline. You'll be with your family soon enough."

Oh God. Mom and Adam. Did they- wait, what did they say? They would eat her too? That meant that they have-

Anger burns within her and she spits back at the not-Mom's face who flinches and lets one of her hands go, luckily for Caroline, it's the one holding the knife and she stabs as hard as she can into the not-Mom's neck. Blood gurgles out of the wound and she pushes the not-Mom off her.

Not-Adam is blocking the door to her escape and he growls at her, mocking with Adam's face. "You can't win, Caroline."

"Yes, I can!" She lunges forward and stabs him in the stomach, he collapses to the floor, his intestines falling out and she stares wide-eyed at the carnage. His face crumpled with pain and for a moment she thinks _Oh God, Adam, what did I-_

He looks up at her with hate-filled eyes and growls, "You bitch!"

That snaps her out of it and she opens the door and runs into the night. She runs as fast and as far as she can, hearing not-Mom, finally recovered, running after her.

"SOMEBODY HELP ME!" Caroline shouts as loud as she can and she runs past houses, her neighbors seemingly deaf to her plight. "HELP!"

She's at the end of the street when there's light, so bright it blinds her and she stops, dropping the bloody knife in her hand as this being of pure light lands down in front of her. Wings, large wings, glowing with light as the rest of this creature and she stifles as with one-hand he picks her up and soars back into the sky.

She must've fainted because when she wakes up she's in a hotel room, four tall men hovering over her and inspecting her like she's under a microscope. She blinks her blue eyes in confusion before reality crashes back in and she remembers just what has happened and what she has been through.

She screams as she sits up, crawls backwards and tries to disappear into the headboard. "W-Who are you?" Her eyes are wide with confusion and she feels her heart about to explore with so much fear if it is possible.

The tallest of the men smiles at her awkwardly, trying to placate her. "Hi, Caroline. I'm Sam."

He points to the man on his right who is staring her down like she's a felon. "This is Dean." He gestures to the man on his left who is not blinking at her with sharp blue eyes. "That's Cas." And he doesn't look at the last man, who looks the youngest, probably just a few years older than her. "And that's Kol."

"Kol's the one who saved you last night." Sam explains.

Caroline turns to her savior and he stares down at her with dark eyes. "But what saved me yesterday was…" What was it? It was a being of pure light with wings and inhuman strength? It didn't look human at all. Kol on the other hand…

"This is a vessel I now inhabit." Kol finally speaks. "What you saw last night was my true form."

"True form?" She parrots. What does that even mean? "Wait, what are you?'

Dean finally joins in. "Maybe you're not ready for that yet, doll." He looks back at Sam. "Let's start with the basics, shall we?"

Sam nods before looking back at Caroline. "Caroline, this may sound weird but… we're your brothers."

Things have now officially become complicated.


	4. meds

**The Month of Koroline #4**

**Title: Meds  
**

**Fandom/s: Vampire Diaries, Love Is a Drug  
**

**Love Is a Drug is an original story of mine and the first three chapters can be found on my Fictionpress account if you're interested. Sorry for the late updates but I'm usually vidding when I'm not writing and it's hard to squeeze writing in sometimes.**

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It's been a month since _Philax_ (the leading drug distributor in the world) announced Love. It was a new drug thought to be better than Lust and Happiness since it could imitate all the other Emotions like Happiness, Fear, Anxiety and many more.

Testing for it started a week earlier. Test subjects from ages of fifteen to sixty were being tried out.

Caroline stood in line of the young adults being handed small plastic cubs with the drug. She was handed hers and she stared at the two bright pink pills, trying to gauge what their mystical powers were. They didn't look any different from any other Emotions or just the regular drugs so what made these so special?

"Swallow, please." The nurse told - commanded her briskly, the 'please' obviously just for show.

Caroline suppressed an eye roll and swallowed the pills drugs, grimacing as they stuck to her throat. The nurse handed her a small amount of water and she bit her tongue to not snap at her for not giving her that before Caroline choked on the meds. She just chugged down the small amount of water and let out a relieved sigh as the pills went down easier.

"Follow me." The nurse commanded again and Caroline resisted the urge to disobey. She didn't like this bitch already and it's only been five minutes.

The nurse led her to a small room, barely the size of a shoebox with white walls, white floors and no windows. The only furniture in the room was a metal table and two metal chairs. How cozy. The nurse told her to wait for her 'partner' and that she would be back in an hour. Caroline took a seat on one of the cold, uncomfortable chairs.

Caroline stared at her watch for a full minute before the door opened and a male nurse escorted a boy – no, young man into the room. He looked older than Caroline a few years perhaps with dark hair and eyes and porcelain skin. He was dressed all in black from his sweater (was that cashmere?)r to his boots. And he swaggered over to her like he was a fucking prince.

The male nurse gave the brunet the same instructions given to Caroline and he left the room, closing the door quietly behind him but it echoed in the small silent room.

The boy took the seat opposite of her, not taking his eyes off her like he was assessing every movement she made. She didn't back down though and held his gaze, noting for a fact that his eyes were dark brown, almost black.

There was a strange excitement in the air, like something was about to happen. Which one of them would pounce first after all? Caroline tried to control herself against that bubbling excitement, almost euphoric and she stared into pools of bitter, dark chocolate before he. –_ finally_ – relented and smirked at her.

"What's your name, sweetheart?" He asked. "I'm Kol."

He spoke with a British lit and as any giddy eighteen-year-old who watched Colin Firth in _Pride and Prejudice_, she wanted to swoon. But she didn't cause that would be way too embarrassing.

"Caroline." She answered, easing up a little when he leaned back against his chair, arms still on the table and eyes never leaving her face.

"So, tell me, Caroline," –Oh God, the way he said her name. Like a three syllable melody. Ca-ro-line- "What got you into the world of Emotions testing?"

"They were signing people up at the mall. I was bored."

He nodded, appeased.

And she gave him a look. "What's your reason?"

"My brother works for the company. He got me the gig, citing that I needed to at least understand what working and the blue collar people have to deal with."

Blue collar people? What a snob. He must be a son of a millionaire and went to that posh private school across town with the preppy uniform. Yup, she could just imagine him in the blue and black outfit with the Mikaelson crest on it. Heck, he's probably related to the family that owns the school.

"Well, aren't you one of the people?" She said dryly, eyes narrowed in annoyance.

He smirked again at her expression. "Oh and I already made you angry." He looked at his watch. "Five minutes, that's like my all-time best."

"Sounds like pissing people off is a regular thing for you."

"Very observant," He remarked. "And true. My siblings can attest to that."

"How many siblings do you have?" She asked, genuinely curious. She wondered what kind of people had to deal with this prick on a daily basis or worse yet, share DNA with him.

"Many, actually." He answered. "Four insufferable brothers and one spoiled rotten little sister. Now that I think about it, you do remind me a bit of Bekah…."

She scowled at the thought of being compared to a snobby private-school British girl and Kol chuckles at her open disgust. "She's not that bad, really. I think you would like each other. You could help her run the school with her iron fist adorned in Chanel nail polish."

"Lovely." She pouted and looked down at her watch. Fifteen minutes. Really? So much more to go.

"Oh, come on. I'm not boring you already, am I?" Kol cajoled her. "How about some jokes? You heard the one about the blonde that went to the doctor? No? Okay, so a woman goes to her doctor and complains that she feels pain when she touches any part of her body-"

She sighed and looks up at Kol with bored eyes as he continued his joke.

"-and so the doctor asks, 'You're a natural blonde, aren't you?'"

"Kol,"

"-and she said, 'How did you know?'"

"Kol."

"And then he went, 'Cause your finger is broken!'" He finished with a flourish and grins down at her, waiting and expecting her to laugh and she just glares at him, wanting very badly to smash his face into the table until he was bloody and dead. "Oh come on, Caroline, that was one of my best!"

How could one human being be so annoying?

"You know, other girls would laugh at everything I say."

"That's because they're brainless trollops that would laugh at anything a boy they like would say."

He hissed and made a stabbing motion into his heart. "You're a cruel woman."

"And don't you forget it."

He laughed loudly. It sounded like the hyenas from Lion King and it made her smile even when she tried not to. He stopped laughing and stared at her, eyes dancing. "You know what, I like you. You're a hard one to crack."

"I'm the video game you can't cheat." She returned his smile before looking down at her watch again. Ten minutes to go. She looked back at him and he was staring at her, eyes almost probing. "Could you stop giving me the Ian Somerhalder stare? It's seriously creeping me out!"

"I can't help it." He grinned widely. "It's the meds. I think I'm in love with you already."

She scoffed. "No way. You had one dose and this is just in the product testing so stop saying crazy things or I'll tell the nurses that you're a registered sex offender."

He balked at her. "And _I'm _the crazy one?"

She couldn't help herself, she fucking giggled like when she was a freshman and the football players would wolf-whistle when she would walk by. God, was it him or Love that was turning her into a brainless ninny? She outgrew giggling last year and she refused to giggle for arrogant British boys anymore.

"Outlandish threats aside, what's so wrong about insta-love?"

"Cause it only exists in romance novels and movies."

"What kind of role reversal are we doing here? You're the girl. Aren't you supposed to be telling me that Edward should be with Bella and that _'Oh my Gosh, they're like the most epic romance ever!'_" He said the last bit in a shrill, girly voice and she winced out of horror alone.

"What is wrong with you?" She shook her head. "Sadly, a few years ago, I might've said that too."

"What changed?"

She stared at him and she read into the sincerity in his eyes before she looked away and cleared her throat, changing the subject quickly. "So, you believe in 'insta-love'?"

"Nah, not really. My sister does but after witnessing my parents' catastrophic relationship I've sort of stopped buying into romantic tripe."

"Like soul mates and destiny and love matches?"

"Exactly." He nodded sagely. "Load of shit it all is."

She giggled. Again. Ugh, she had to stop. But come on, he's charming, absolutely charismatic once you got past the arrogance and obnoxiousness.

"But doesn't that make us hypocrites that we're testing insta-love, right now?" She asked.

He thought about it for a moment before shrugging. "This is purely scientific stuff, chemicals and toxins and pheromones, nothing romantic about this at all. If it was, there would be candles, food and music and we'd be outside so we can see the stars."

She agreed. "True love shouldn't come in a bottle anyway."

Kol opened his mouth to say something but the door opened and the nurses told them that the time is up. Caroline stood up first and Kol followed, trailing behind her as her nurse ushered her away. She's stepped one foot in the hallway before she's stopped by a hand on her arm. Friction, nothing but friction and the effects of Love made her heart flutter when she realized it was Kol, she tried to rationalize.

"See you next time, Caroline?" He grinned hopefully. "Let's talk more about insta-love."

She smiled back. "Looking forward to it."

His hand dropped from her and he walked away. Caroline stared at his retreating form for two seconds before the nurse (who she's really beginning to dislike) is drilling her with questions.


	5. i am down

**The Month of Koroline #5**

**Title: I Am Down**

**Fandom/s: Vampire Diaries, Gossip Girl**

**Sage Spence is from Gossip Girl so don't think about the Sage on TVD when you're reading this.**

* * *

Caroline had been dreaming about cotillion since she was a little girl. It was one of the top five biggest events in her life, right after prom, her wedding day and the birth of her first born. But unlike weddings and births, cotillion only came once and only once in a young socialite's life and Caroline refused to have it go any less than perfectly.

Her mentor was former-Constance Queen Bee Sage Spence who passed the crown to her last year and was now expecting nothing but the best from Caroline. She had to be perfect. And she already made plans for everything, her hair, make-up and dress were already arranged, the only problem was –

"How about Jeremy Gilbert?" Caroline held up a candid shot of Jeremy in his St. Jude's uniform, smoking a spiff with glassy eyes.

Sage scowled and rolled her brown eyes. "Caroline, he's a freshman, a stoner and a virgin. Three strikes, he's out."

Caroline laughed and held up another photo, this time of the a blond lacrosse player. "Matt Donovan?"

"Scholarship kids are total charity cases. No way."

Caroline sighed and held up another photo this one with a tanned boy giving the finger to the camera.

"You have to be kidding me?" Sage tsked. "Tyler Lockwood may be the hottest piece of action at St. Jude's but let's admit it, he's a dick."

Caroline placed the photo on the 'rejects' pile.

-her partner.

Everyone knew how important the person who escorted you at cotillion was. The richer, hotter and more popular your escort, the better you looked. And when it came to the UES, appearances were everything.

Caroline looked down at the photos of potential escorts and glared at them. None of them were right. And Caroline needed right, she needed perfect. She needed to make sure this night went perfectly because it was her only shot to show the entire UES that she was worthy to be in this world because no matter how much money and influence the Forbes had, no one could quite forget her roots. And that was the police department in Virginia, not anywhere glamorous at all.

Caroline let out a growl and looked up at Sage in hopelessness. "They're all wrong."

Sage gave a small comforting smile and patted her on the arm. "Cheer up, C. You'll find your perfect guy to escort you up those steps. It's all about patience. You remember who I went with?"

Of course, Caroline knew. Everybody talked about Sage's cotillion for _weeks_.

"Damon. _Salvatore_." Sage intoned. "And you can't get any better than a Salvatore."

Well, too bad Damon's younger brother was already escorting Elena Gilbert so she had to settle for less than. That disturbed her, settling. She hated doing nothing else and she promised herself she could do better than a Salvatore. She had to. Everything was to be perfect.

* * *

Sage woke her up via phone call and Caroline crawled out of her sea of cushions and sheets and answered. "Sage, its five o'clock in the morning-"

"_Yeah, well, you know that it's still night for me at this hour."_ Sage said. _"But anyway, guess what? I found you an escort!"_

Caroline wanted to be happy, she really did. But her brain was too sleepy to really comprehend complex thought so she just let out a grunt and Sage started her spiel about how perfect and awesome and cool her escort was and how Caroline would totally kick ass at her cotillion.

Caroline just barely heard the name before she bid Sage goodbye, albeit a bit rudely in her haste, and went back to sleep.

* * *

Caroline was getting ready for school a little while later, styling her blonde hair to perfection when she starts to recall her conversation with Sage earlier.

Who was Kol Mikaelson again?

* * *

She called Sage on her way to school, walking towards Constance with her cell phone in her ear, waiting for her mentor to pick up the call so she could drill her right away.

Sage answers five seconds later and Caroline goes berserk. "_Kol Mikaelson_? Kol _freaking_ Mikaelson? The same guy who is the biggest man whore in the Upper East Side, the brother of Rebekah Mikaelson, and the guy you used to sleep with as friends with benefits? _That _Kol Mikaelson?"

"_I prefer to just call him the guy I went to school with but I'm sure he'll appreciate all the titles you gave him."_

"Sage, _why him_? He's like a more demented version of Chuck Bass pre-Waldorfication!"

"_He owes me a favor and you need an escort. Ergo, two birds and one stone,"_

"But-"

"_No buts, Caroline. I already arranged everything. There's no backing out now."_

"Sage-"

"_Just be there at dance practice tomorrow. Kol's a fantastic dancer and if you like, also really good in the sack."_

She's sure every inch of her skin is blushing red.

"_Okay, then? Chow!"_

Caroline stared down at her phone and let out a shrill scream.

* * *

Caroline tried to avoid the inevitable as much as possible. She planned to linger around school after dismissal, trying to find something to keep her from going to dance practice but Sage arrived the second after the bell rang and dragged her to her town car and then they were inside the dance studio before Caroline could even try to make a run for it.

The moment Caroline set foot in the dance studio every girl's eyes went to her. Here she was the nouveau riche Queen Bee, poised and ready for the downfall.

With a hand on her lower back, Sage pushed her forward and closer to the piranha of girls. "Fight, Caroline. Show these snooty bitches what Forbes are made of."

And she would.

* * *

Kol arrived five minutes late but Sage explained that he was always late which made Caroline worry because what if he was late for cotillion? The humiliation of that would be hard to come back from. Everyone stared at Kol as he made his entrance. Everybody knew of the second youngest Mikaelson son after all, whether it be by good or (generally) bad reputation.

Kol made a beeline for Sage who air kissed him and chatted with him for a minute before she pointed at Caroline who was dancing with one of the dance instructors. Kol walked towards them (more like swaggered) and stopped right beside them until Caroline and the instructor both had to stare at him.

"May I cut in?" Kol asked but it wasn't really a question the way he said it.

The instructor let Caroline go and went off to help some other debutante.

Caroline stared up at Kol with wary eyes before he bowed (perfectly) and offered his hand for her to take. Her hands shaking she allowed him to pull her into position and then they were waltzing, his dark eyes boring into hers like she was a puzzle he was trying to figure out.

They spin around and around, interchanging partners, spinning, waltzing until they're back in each other's arms.

His eyes are still intense and yet she didn't look away.

It was a matter of pride after all and a Forbes always win.

* * *

A week passed and Caroline got used to the schedule of cotillion etiquette.

Kol, much to her relief and surprise, behaved himself during practice and was cordial most of the time. Complimenting her when she did well and giving her tips on how to improve if she didn't. It's all a little odd for Caroline since he seemed to be trying hard to contain his nature. He certainly didn't act like a complete gentleman around Sage and they've known each other far longer than Caroline's known Kol.

Dance practice was cancelled one day and Caroline didn't get the text in time (at all, really) so she's in an empty dance studio cursing herself and she went to leave only to find Kol at the doorway.

"Dance practice is cancelled apparently." Caroline said, trying to sound humorous and failing.

Kol grinned, and it was such a lovely one too, before he stalked towards her and stopped a foot from her but she can still see all the specks of green and grey in his eyes. "Would you be angry if I told you, you not getting the text is on purpose?"

"Depends," Caroline answered. "On whose nefarious plan it was."

"No, no, not nefarious at all. Just necessary." Kol went around her to go to the large state of the art stereo. He turns it on and a familiar song starts playing.

_Come as you are, as you were _

_As I want you to be _

_As a friend, as a friend _

_As an old enemy_

"I didn't peg you for a Kurt Cobain guy." She grinned.

He shrugged. "My older brothers love this song, kept playing the album non-stop during the weekends until I was thirteen."

She stared at him, not really knowing what to say or do next and just tried to remain calm, letting him take the lead, just like the waltz. He would lead and she would follow. She remained perfectly still as he walked slowly towards her, stopping only until their breaths mingled and she can count every individual eyelash.

He smiled slowly at her before bowing and offering his hand, she accepted and they waltzed to Nirvana until all that echoed in her head were the words.

_Memoria, memoria_

* * *

Cotillion finally came and she spent the day being pampered and beautified by her prep team who do an amazing job with her. She had never really been ugly but she had never felt this beautiful before, iridescent and lovely beyond compare.

Her hair is in a loose but elegant bun with curls free to frame her face, her dress a blue grey that brought out her eyes. Her lips shimmer glossy pearl pink and her eyelashes like black featbr dusters.

When Sage saw Caroline, she let out a loud laugh of joy before hugging the blonde. "It'll be perfect, Caroline, you'll see."

And she knew it would be.

* * *

Kol smiled widely when he saw her, tucking a stray curl behind her ear just before they are called to be presented. Caroline was all smiles as they walk up the steps, cameras flashing and people applauding. Among the crowd she saw her grandparents, clapping the loudest of them all and she smiled wider.

The first dance started and she fell into the soft, sweet pattern of the waltz she had been practicing for weeks, Kol guided her easily and they practically floated on the floors, other's eyes mesmerized with their sheer iridescence and beauty.

Kol smiled at her and whispered a sweet question in her ear when he was close enough. "Is everything perfect, sweetheart?"

* * *

Everything was perfect and she felt like she can take anything, the freaking world, all those catty snobby girls and more. Just as long as she had Kol, she was beautiful and iridescent and most of all, perfect.

So she didn't object when after the cotillion, he guided her into one of the rooms of the hotel, sweet smile always present as he led her into another kind of dance.

And it was perfect.

* * *

It wasn't perfect. Nothing was perfect. Nothing could ever be perfect anymore. Not after she woke up alone in that hotel room, Kol's scent still in the sheets, his warmth long gone.

She felt her heart breaking into a million tiny splintering pieces and she let out deep breaths, trying to control herself as the tears came. They still come though and she sobbed into her pillow until there was nothing left.

When her tears dried, she got into the shower and let the hot water (too hot) scald her, the pain welcomed after all the imperfection that have tainted now. She was no longer perfect. She could never be perfect again. And she mourned this with every nerve, fiber and cell in her being.

She dressed in her cotillion gown (out of lack of anything else to wear) and found a note on the table as she passed by it.

_You were perfect, sweetheart._


	6. pumped up kicks

**The Month of Koroline #6**

**Title: Pumped Up Kicks**

**Fandom/s: Vampire Diaries**

**I'd like to give a warning that this story is about a school shooting so if you're uncomfortable with that sort of plot then please skip this one. I am aware and saddened by the events that happened in America last year and my condolences for all that were affected. But I have to point out that this story is a worth of fiction, not meant to glamorize something so vicious in any way. I came up with this idea even before last year's events happened and held off writing it out of respect for what happened. But also, I am a writer and I'm here to test myself and push boundaries so if you think you can take it, read away but if it gets uncomfortable for you then click out.**

* * *

**(Forward)**

It's cold. Fucking the middle of December and the ground was covered in snow so thick, the heels of my black sensible stilettos dug in to them and I swear my feet are frostbitten.

I'm wearing a black coat over my black dress, not the modest one my mom bought me but the slinky one Kol always smirked at when he saw me in it. My mom had a fit when she saw me in it but I promised to keep my coat on at all times and no one would know or see.

Truth is, I was only wearing the coat because it really was freezing. If it had been warmer, I would bare that dress for all to see and I wouldn't give a damn. This was for Kol.

And I knew he would be proud of my tenacity. He was probably even smirking from which part of the underworld he was currently vacating.

**(Pause)**

Sometimes I wonder why he did it.

Don't people and shrinks and political analysts go on and on about why someone just went berserk and we're all left licking wounds from the gore and trying to recover from PTSD? Sure, when we watch it on TV it's sad and tragic but there's a distance between you and what happened because it wasn't you, it didn't happen to you.

But now it did. And now I was just trying to understand. Why he did it I mean.

He didn't leave anything much to go on.

**(Back)**

I don't know how he got in with the rifle.

How the hell was he able to stroll into the school like it was an everyday occurrence to bring weapons inside and start shooting at all his classmates at random, I will never quite know.

All I know is one moment I'm in homeroom, listening to our teacher talk about some other mundane topic when the gunshots rang.

And then the screams.

Then we were all running.

**(Pause)**

Kol's favorite band was The White Stripes. His favorite song was Nirvana's Come as You Are. His favorite book was Catcher in the Rye. His favorite movie was Stalag 17. His favorite color was gunmetal blue. His favorite word was invictus. His favorite sound was my laugh.

I know all of those things and so much more but no one really cared about those little things but me. His parents were getting a divorce, constantly blaming each other for what happened, his siblings weren't talking to anyone and even Rebekah couldn't bear to even let out snarky whips when I walked by like she used to.

Everything had changed and it was still changing. Worse yet, there was nothing I could do to stop it.

**(Forward)**

Bonnie had been sick that horrible day it happened and she'd been home with a fever in her bed when the news came on TV. She called me as I wasn't one of the casualties named in the news report, I couldn't speak for what seemed hours as Bonnie bombarded me with questions.

"_Caroline? Caroline! Are you still there?"_

"Yes, Bonnie." My voice was soft, too quiet. I felt so exhausted like the simple act of getting syllables out was too much for her. "I'm sorry but I don't feel really well right now. I'll call you tomorrow."

"_Okay. Call me tom-"_

I hung up, threw my phone down to the carpet of my bedroom's floor, lied back down on my bed and closed my eyes.

**(Back)**

I don't know where I'm going.

Our teacher tried to lead us to safety but everyone was trying to run away, to save themselves and I was lost in the chaos of it all, not knowing which direction to run.

Half of me wanted to get out of that place and run to where it was safe.

The other wanted to search for Kol and see if it was really him.

I didn't know which part to listen to but it didn't matter because when I found my way to the cafeteria with Matt and Elena, Kol was waiting there.

Matt tried to push Elena and me out of the way but Kol grazed Elena at the side and she crumpled into the ground a bleeding mess before Kol took a shot at Matt's head whose blue eyes widened before they were splattered in his blood and brains.

I let out a horrified gasp and looked at Kol who was aiming the rifle at me now. I held her breath, not knowing what to do, afraid he would take the shot and just kill me since that seemed the most likely thing for him to do. I was in his way, why not kill me?

I braced herself for the bullet but he didn't do as I expected, he just moved the rifle towards Elena and pulled the trigger. I let out a scream this time and he spared me one final glance before he walked away quietly.

**(Pause)**

I don't know what would've been worse. Dying at the hands of the boy I'd been so crazy about or being spared while he killed people we knew, grew up with and saw everyday for years.

I don't know why but I'm angry beyond the confusion. Angry at everyone else for not being able to see that there had been something wrong, angry at myself for not seeing it as well and not trying to stop it and angry at Kol because….

Because he fucked everything up and I would never forgive him.

Ever.

**(Forward)**

My shrink is fresh out of college and I'm the third person she's ever handled. She looked really young and looked just about my age though she was years older. She was nervous around me for the first few sessions, trying to find a suitable rhythm to deal with me, find the right words to get me to open up and knowing when to stop digging before I had enough, got up and stormed out of her office.

It took two months before she finally got me to talk about something substantial, the past weeks were me just babbling about random things, memories of the past that had nothing to do with what my shrink wanted me to really talk about but I refused to tell her about Kol. It felt like excessive loyalty and in a way it was but honestly, it was more selfishness and possessiveness because those small moments I had with Kol would be tainted if I shared them with her to tear apart and analyze like a new gadget from Apple.

But after a while, I broke down and told her everything. And she handed me a box of tissues as I cried my way through retelling the shooting. She patted me on the arm several times in between sobs before I calmed down and collapsed back against the couch I was sitting down on and feeling drained.

My shrink smiled at me, comforting and pitying all at once, it made bile rise to my esophagus. "That was good, Caroline."

No, it wasn't.

**(Pause)**

My shrink's making me write a goodbye letter to Kol. Closure, she called it and I really have nothing to lose anymore so I opened my diary and start penning the words that seem to elude me for so long until I just tried to let things go and write what I felt.

_Dear Kol,_

_I will never understand why you did it. If there was something wrong, you could've come to me. And if you did try to show me in any way, I'm sorry for not seeing it or taking the time to notice. Everybody hates you right now and I feel alone with the fact I'm sure I'm the only one that misses you. And I hate you for that, among the obvious reasons. _

_But a part of me still loves you._

_I never got to say that to you, did I? I love you. I thought it was too early and I regret it now. That'll probably haunt me forever as it'll be impossible to forget you now. You'll be the scary story I tell my kids, worse than the boogeyman. I know you'll be happy about that._

_God, I hate you. And love you. It's a complicated emotion and even now when you're six feet under, you're still taking my head for a spin, you fucking cunt._

_I hope I get to see you one day (decades from now of course when I'm old, ugly and grey) and we can sit down with some red vines and cherry cola and you can explain everything to me._

_See you then._

_Still missing you, _

_Caroline_

**(Back)**

Don't you just hate first days? That tension in the air, that giddy sickening excitement as you see classmates from the previous years and wondering if you still share the same classes now and which teachers you're getting, starting new all over again for another school year.

Contrary to popular belief, I did not like first days. Not as freshmen anyway when all the older kids look at you like a baby and fresh meat to chew up and spit right out. Life as a senior would be different, I know and I couldn't wait till then. I still had three years to go before that though.

I'm walking towards my first class with Elena and Bonnie, trying to dodge students in my path and hugging my books close to my chest when someone bumps into my side. I almost lose my balance from the impact but strong hands keep me steady.

I looked up to say thank you and find myself looking into an extremely cute boy's face, all dark hair and eyes, porcelain skin and borderline androgynous features. For a moment I'm speechless because really wow before I regained my bearings and smiled awkwardly at him. He returns the smile, albeit a lot cooler and drops his hands from her.

'"Sorry about that," He said. "First days and I have never gotten along, I'm afraid. I never really got used to the hustle and bustle."

"Yeah, I totally understand." I replied. "First days are pretty crazy."

"As most people are," He grinned, holding out his hand to shake. "I'm Kol, by the way."


End file.
